Its been called the impossible job although the England national team may claim copyright.
Its been compared to supping from a poisoned chalice and righting a listing oil tanker at the same time.
More specifically, its been compared to refloating the giant container ship that ran aground in the Suez Canal.
Managing Manchester United is a challenge that has reduced half a dozen eminent names to gibbering dummies in the last 11 years.
In reality, its more like playing Liverpool and City with the statues of Alex Ferguson and Matt Busby on their backs.
And with the ghosts of the Holy Trinity George Best, Bobby Charlton and Denis Law coming back to haunt every dud signing they make.
Old Trafford is not called the Theatre of Dreams for nothing.
But hope springs eternal among football fans and a global diaspora is now daring to dream that a little-known Portuguese might be The One.
Unlike a celebrated compatriot and predecessor, Ruben Amorim is not special but hes the Chosen One to steer this stumbling leviathan back to where it thinks it belongs among Europes football elite.
Jose Mourinho was little-known, too, before he became Chelsea boss, but hed won the Champions League and built from there.
But hed lost his mojo before he even arrived at Old Trafford.
Amorims CV cannot compare but he has turned around Sporting Lisbon in spectacular fashion.
And he took over when they were in far worse shape than United are now.
There has been frustration with the Glazers, Ed Woodward and some signings, but nothing to what Sporting endured.
One of Portugals Big Three (with Benfica and Porto), in 2018 it was 16 years since theyd been champions.
That was when anger boiled over and a 50-strong mob of hooded, stick-wielding fans beat up the players at the club training ground!
Following the turmoil, many including United skipper Bruno Fernandes departed and the club took some time to recover.
Amorim joined in 2020 and, from the wreckage, hes led them to two successive league titles and won all nine matches this season.
Its no wonder that United think theyve found their man and cant wait for him to start.
Theyve paid the release clause (10m) and were hoping hed be in place for this weekends visit of Chelsea (00.30am Monday in Malaysia).
But Sporting, fearing the loss of their saviour could wreck their season, are not keen for him to go so suddenly.
Theres a 30-day notice period anyway something of which United were seemingly unaware.
Amorim also wants to take three members of his backroom staff with him and United are willing to pay 4.1m for their services.
The trio consists of assistant manager Adelio Candido, assistant coach Carlos Fernandes and goalkeeper coach Jorge Vital.
Painfully aware the guts are being ripped out of the club as a hat-trick of titles beckons, Sporting are demanding another 5m to release the trio from their contracts.
Given their recent history, this is perfectly understandable but something the Ratcliffe regime had not bargained for.
Its another example of them wanting to appear decisive but only after dithering as they were in sacking Erik ten Hag.
A seven-hour meeting a month ago couldnt resolve his future and now they are paying the price not just in wasted millions but in a wasted season that a magic wand would be pushed to salvage.
Indeed, the biggest and most inexplicable delay was not removing the Dutchman at the end of last season.
Anyone could see the FA Cup Final win over City was a one-off everything went right for United yet it was enough for Ratcliffe to change his mind.
And we now learn that credit for the tactics should not go to ten Hag anyway but to assistant Darren Fletcher who persuaded the Dutchman to ditch his original game plan.
And it came after a toe-nail offside had saved United from semi-final humiliation to Coventry.
You begin to wonder how much Ratcliffe really knows about football.
Adding up what hell have to pay Sporting, Amorims new contract, the payoff to ten Hag and some 180m for ten Hags signings, we are looking at circa 250m.
Thats a fifth of what he paid the Glazers for a share of the club.
Marginal gains? Sounds like a massive loss to me.
Even the claim to have been quicker on the draw than both City and Liverpool doesnt quite ring true.
Amorim has been linked with City as a possible successor to Pep Guardiola, especially since his great pal Hugo Viana will join as director of football at the end of the season.
But City are increasingly hopeful that Pep will be staying so would not have been sounding out Amorim at this delicate stage.
As for Liverpool, he appeared to be the front runner to succeed Jurgen Klopp once Xavi Alonso decided to stay at Bayer Leverkusen.
But Liverpool rejected him as he wouldnt budge on his 3 at the back defensive blueprint which does not suit the Anfield club.
Even Liverpools youth teams adopt a flat back four and they werent prepared to change the entire modus operandi for him.
As it is, he seems the best young coach available and there will be a compromise over his arrival.
Amorim wants to leave with as much dignity as he can and if Sporting can keep him at the club for the next couple of weeks, it will ease the expected transition to B team coach Joo Pereira.
Its likely therefore that he will join United during the international break, with his first game being away to Ipswich on November 24.
Not quite the instant impact of him being there in two days time, and it may also give the club another potential headache: what to do with Ruud van Nistelrooy?
Having presided over a five-goal win in his first game in charge, the Dutchman will have at least three more winnable home games to enhance his own reputation.
Indeed, if hes successful, he could even steal a bit of Amorims thunder.
Soon after the Portuguese starts, the fixtures get tougher Arsenal, City and Spurs all away in the dark days of December.
The job is not impossible and United fans will be hoping that hes The One.
But reality is never far away and his employers have already botched his honeymoon.
The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of FMT.